(related to the Wyrdred Struggles Against ‘The Eight Arms of Corruption’ campaign)
This is a sample of our dialogue and interaction during the game.
the Referee (Steve Powers)
Var Tol (played by Manny Galvan)
Ethan (played by John Moreland)
Malcolm (played by tOAD Bailey)
Wyrdred (played by me)
Wyrdred: We’ve just learned that the city of Capon Vera is being overrun by war galleys!
Var Tol: There are people there who would be interested in hearing that.
Malcolm: You don’t think they noticed?
Var Tol: Is my temple run by a Priest or a Priestess?
Var Tol: What makes you think I’m a short, stubby guy?
Wyrdred: Cause awhile ago you said “I’m short and stubby.”
Var Tol (while dragging a ‘fitful’ dead body through the door, stepping over Malcolm, who’s covered in blood, and talking to a bawling–very recently orphaned–farm girl and her dog): “BE CALM, EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL!!!”
Wyrdred: I’m not doing anything where I have to roll a percentage chance of dying…although I did last week.
Wyrdred (trying to convince Malcolm to wait it out): Do you want our friend the troll to throw you 40 feet to escape?
Malcolm: No, but do you want to sit here ’til we’re discovered by Freeport guards?
Wyrdred: If they burst through the brush we’ll just yell, “Help us get the troll!”
Wyrdred: We should take our Freeport badges. They’re Damn hard to come by!
Wyrdred (2 weeks later): Let’s get rid of these damn badges!
Wyrdred: (Talking to an NPC) We underwent some unusual circumstances that required us to take off all our clothes.
Wyrdred (who has just cast a spell on a corpse allowing him to see the last minutes of the victim’s life): We’ve seen the creature…we know it exists.
Ethan (to the rest of the party): So you’ve all seen the creature?
Wyrdred: By we I meant me and the late victim.
Steve: A corpse has absolutely no place in any healthy sexual relationship.
Ethan: I yell up at them to see if they can hear me.
Steve: What do you yell?
Ethan: <blank stare>
Steve: Just some generic yelling?
Steve: For a change none of the squirrels looks at you ominously.
Wyrdred: Will I learn this on a limited basis or permanently?
Steve: That depends.
Wyrdred: On what?
Steve: On whether or not you have a non-weapon proficiency slot available.
Steve: The fate of the city rests on it.
Malcolm: On us running like horses?
Steve: You should return and entertain our students with your instrument.
Malcolm: Be glad to.
(Ethan and Wyrdred laugh.)
Wyrdred: How’d you interpret that?
Wyrdred: I prowl the room looking for a girl who looks….
Malcolm and Ethan (simultaneously): Androgynous?
Wyrdred: I’m stabling this horse and taking everything off of it…except for the horse stuff.
Steve: Var Tol, let me see your character sheet.
Wyrdred: Why? You won’t be able to read it.
Steve: They go to Robyn’s and rape all the women and elves.
Wyrdred: Oh, like we elves are just some androgynous race.
Var Tol: The Greeks were into that shit.
Malcolm: Yeah, the Greeks raped elves all the time…